We won't sleep together?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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