I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
