bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
