He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
