My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My pussy is not your playground.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
