Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
