The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
