very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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