last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
