Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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