wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
