I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
