Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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