im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize