yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No stitches, just platelets and will power
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Randomize
