on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
