don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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