I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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