Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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