help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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