Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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