Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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