guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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