I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
