this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
