Me too!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
