You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize