Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
