Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
