I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
