oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
