so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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