You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
