I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
