can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
