Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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