That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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