I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
