if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
