Don't make out with my wife yet
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
