Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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