What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
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Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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