Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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