Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
