the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Damn victory sex feels great
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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