I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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