Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
