I'm really into asian looking animals
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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