K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
