Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
