He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
