I molested 6 butterflies tonight
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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