Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dicks are not precious.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
