Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize
