Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
