I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
