do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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