I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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