Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
