did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
