We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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